


HMS Sunnydale

by isabeau, Miriam (isabeau)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Filk, Gen, Really old fic (pre-2000)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-01
Updated: 2000-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 07:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabeau/pseuds/isabeau, https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabeau/pseuds/Miriam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy has a birthday surprise for Giles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	HMS Sunnydale

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist doing a parody of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Modern Major General." Yes, I know that's from Pirates of Penzance, not HMS Pinafore, but I liked this title better. Vague spoilers through early S2 only.

_"HMS Sunnydale"  
Or, the day Gilbert&Sullivan invaded Sunnydale_

  
"Hey, Giles," Buffy said, bouncing into the library one morning. "Ooh,  
look at this!"

"Look at what?" Giles queried, coming out of his office, sipping on a cup  
of coffee. Taster's Choice, by the smell.

"This." She handed him a note, folded once, and her mouth twitched.

"What?" Giles snatched the note out of her hands, unfolded it, and made  
the mistake of trying to drink coffee as he read. The resultant splutter  
painted a pretty little Rorschach-esque design on the note. "Buffy, I  
can't do this!"

"Oh, come on." She pouted prettily. "It's my birthday, okay? You  
probably didn't remember, so I reminded you. This is your present. Do  
it."

He peered at the note. " 'I am' -- Buffy, I can't do this!"

"Can so. Stop complaining. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll get  
it over with." She was almost smirking.

Giles sighed. "There's no way I can get out of this?"

"Not unless you - um, nope. Sorry."

He sighed, and in a rather pleasant tenor sang:

>   
> "I am the very pattern of a proper Brit librarian,  
> I've information vampiric, demonic, antiquarian;  
> I know the names of vampyrs, and I quote their lives historical  
> From Luke to Spike to Angelus, in order categorical;  
> I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters quantum-physical  
> And understand their implications strange or metaphysical  
> About the local Hellmouth I am teeming with a lot o'news  
> And maybe even some of that is information we can use;  
> I'm very good at casting spells or looking information up,  
> And teaching Buffy how to get her sense of obligation up.  
> In short, in matters vampiric, demonic, antiquarian,  
> I am the very model of a proper Brit librarian."  
> 

He stopped. "Buffy, do I have to do the rest?"

Silence.

He looked up.

Buffy was gone.

"Very nice," said Ms. Calendar, who had somehow gotten into the library  
during the song. "I wasn't aware you knew that one."

"I...uh..."

She smiled at him, and softly sang: "For I am called Calendar, sweet  
little Calendar, though I could never tell why...but still I'm called  
Calendar, poor little Calendar, sweet little Calendar I!"

"Sweet," Giles snorted, and wondered how he'd ever live this down.


End file.
